Learn the art of listening
Posted by siescoms on February 6, 2008
Learn the art of listening
Step I: Stop talking
Most people do not allow the person speaking an opportunity to complete what he is saying. They inevitably interject, interrupt or contradict the person speaking. Thus what is being said is neither heard nor listened to.
Step II: Listen, don’t hear only!!
Hearing is a physical process which involves the ears only and sound is received. As one realizes hearing alone is not sufficient. Listening is an active process that involves our ears / mind.Thus concentration is essential to make listening possible. One cannot be reading mail, scribbling something and also listening since to begin with, he is not attentive! Physical presence guarantees hearing but only mental presence ensures listening hence eliminate all distractions and listen!!
Step III: Ask questions
Asking questions encourages the talker and reconfirms that you are listening to him. This also helps to lead the discussion in the right track / direction.
One must also be cautious that questions should not be probing in nature nor provocative but instead be exploratory and clarification seeking questions. Many people wrongly assume that by asking questions people may perceive them to be stupid / foolish.
Step IV: Jot down main points
It is indeed a very useful practice to jot down points during the process of listening. This not only ensures that our memory is not overstretched but also serves as a ready reckoner for future use.
Further research indicates that jotting down points helps to listen more attentively and also triggers off a better recall at a later point in time.
Step V: Be patient and calm
Many people display anger, irritation and impatience via their body language and this could be very distracting to the speaker. Further the listener has stopped concentrating and is not assimilating the information or message being transmitted.
By being patient and putting the talker at ease; one is able to empathise with the speaker and listen better!
To conclude, listening is wrongly perceived as an un-important, irrelevant and unimportant activity. Further one also perceives that ‘those who know talk; those who don’t listen!!’ which too is a wrong assumption.
To conclude ‘nature has given us two ears and one mouth; which is a gentle hint that we should listen more than we talk!!’
